Little Confusions

Some memories are beautiful and really make you feel nostalgic, especially if it is a childhood memory. Today, I want to share one incident from my childhood which brought a sweet smile on my face today as it flashed in my mind as a random memory for what reason, I know not!

As a child, I was very competitive in all the things I did whether it was studies or any other co-curricular activity. I always wanted to be in the first place but now things have changed a lot, and so has my philosophy. With my experience through these many years, I have learned that being competitive somehow makes you comparative, and you start comparing yourself with others not to better yourself but to get better than someone else. I believe, we must follow our passion and give our best and compete with no one but our own self.

Apologies for this digression, coming back to my story- It was the last day of my first grade & results were soon going to be out.

I was headed towards the School with my Dad. I was immersed into my own world of calculations, wondering what percentage of marks I would get. Will I secure or lose my first position this time? Then I thought –maybe I should pray to God, but what good a prayer would do at this time? I was confused.

I decided to start a chat with my Dad, hoping it would help ease off the anxiety, and the conversation was like this:

Me: What are your expectations from me for today?

Dad: I wish you pass with flying colors.

Me: I just wanted to know one thing.

Dad: What?

Me: When will make you more satisfied - if I get more than 95% overall marks but fail in one subject or If I get just 33% marks and pass in all the subjects. (I knew from the previous night’s conversation with my elder brother that 33% was the minimum passing marks percentage, and he would have been more satisfied with mere 33% rather than failing in one subject.)

Dad: That is such a huge difference. What is your expectation?

Me: I think I would be close to 90% but I’m afraid as I had not performed very well in Mathematics (I had always dreaded Mathematics as a subject).

Dad: Now, I am confused. Let's wait and see what your result is, because there is no point in getting 90% and failing in one subject.

This made me even more perplexed, as this conversation which I started did not solve the purpose.

That was the whole conversation and the good news was that I got 95% (I am not sure about the exact percentage, which I can check out looking at my report card but I am too lazy to do) and retained my first position.

My Dad was very happy but for me the confusion was still on as to what would be more satisfying -   a Pass in all the subjects or a fail with overall good percentage of marks.

Anyways, the day ended well with an end to all my anxiety and my favorite food at home, as a celebration of my achievements.